I was asked many questions but one I’d like to share is included here: “What is the most important thing in your life right now?”
The most important thing in my life is my family. Family has been, always will be and is the most significant part of my life. My dreams and aspirations have been realized because even on the darkest of days I keep them at my center, close to my heart.
Remember to stay healthy and aware: Hope begins with Us. Please stop by the Tour over the next few days and say hello:
October 1 - The Book Czar
October 3 – Zensanity
Blog what you think, see, hear and feel…
Linda Merlino, author, Belly of the Whale
Belly of the Whale is the fictional account of twenty-four hours in the life of a young woman with breast cancer; a disease whose reality is lived everyday by so many people. If you look at statistics the numbers are staggering. Age forty, that mid-life crisis birthday, is when having mammograms should begin. Breast cancer occurs at any age, but more often as women get older. Your chances of not ever having cancer are slim, very slim. For most; it will happen.
Breast cancer is the nightmare turned real in the ordinary life of my character, Hudson Catalina. Bringing the quality of emotion that I felt was needed to depict a situation so grave and where all hope was lost began with the intention not to focus on the cancer but instead on what happens at an over-the-top level; when one person’s life is broadsided by bad news on a beautiful day.
Given previous experience and the fears that follow, how does someone cope with this type of diagnosis? How does the woman in my story maintain her ability to keep hope alive? Extensive research produced one common thread, family. The love, kindness and patience of a spouse, boyfriend, life companion, children, siblings, and friends are crucial to quality of life. Caregivers can have the opportunity to be the best they have ever been, the best husband, the best daughter, or the best brother.
Many people have been touched by cancer, as victim and as witness. Others have been touched by tragedy and by loss. What kind and how each are defined does not matter. There is darkness in every life. The challenge: can we come out on the other side spirit intact? We can because hope belongs to everyone. Without hope, there is nothing.
Blog what you see, hear, think and feel.
]]>Sixty seconds multiplied by three is one hundred eighty seconds; that is all a woman has before her entire life is broadsided. Her drive home from the doctor, and the telephone calls to family, all will take longer than three minutes.
On August 13th I attended the Kickoff Breakfast for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer in New York City. Hundreds of people were guests of the American Cancer Society. There were many speakers on the program but the first, a woman who spoke from her table not from the podium pulled me to the edge of my seat and kept me there as her story unfolded.
The woman’s voice was soft but strong, her name was Stephanie and she smiled as she spoke and her hair, a perfectly coiffed shoulder length wig made her appear younger than her years. Stephanie had grown children, one in Iraq and another living in New York City. Among other things she was an author with a book just released when her three minutes were up. Her orderly, well defined life was upended, and now she was a resident of Hope Lodge in New York City undergoing treatment for breast cancer.
As an author of newly released fiction, I was caught up in her heartbreaking story. I’ve written about breast cancer without being sure why. Now I know. As the daughter of a breast cancer survivor I have something more than words invested in this battle. Women like my mother, my character, Hudson Catalina, and like Stephanie deserve our respect. They need advocates and their message must be spread across the planet.
Hope Starts With Us – is the slogan for the American Cancer Society’s 2008 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. The message of Belly of the Whale is hope and survival. Together we will be in Central Park on October 19th under the Tent. Come walk with us. Every stride you take makes a difference.
Blog what you hear, see, think and feel…
]]>Writing about cancer, using breast cancer as a back drop for fiction has taken me on a journey unexpected. Someone said I made cancer a character, if I did, it was not deliberate. My intention was never that. Most of us can relate to this disease because it has touched us in some way, left its personal stamp upon us, a family member or a friend. The six letter word has taken people away, shortened lives, taken young and old, no discrimination and no rhyme or reason.
I recently attended the Kickoff Breakfast for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. In a large convention hall with handmade quilts hung as decorations, hundreds of people sat bound together by the pink ribbon disease. At every table there were survivors, at every table someone had been touched by cancer. At the podium, speaker after speaker told their story, some coming back year after year praising the work of the American Cancer Society and others coming back to say somewhere in the middle of the months that passed from last year to this, they were diagnosed with cancer. The words spoken were touching and inspirational. People rallied to the cause and left pledging to create teams to walk on October 19th in Central Park.
I was there not because of the reasons that others were but because I decided one day like any other day that the character in my story would have breast cancer, that she would be a young woman, wife and mother who struggles with the loss of hope.
The slogan for Making Strides is: Hope starts with Us. Come join me and thousands of other folk on October 19th in Central Park. I’ll be there with Belly of the Whale, helping to pass on the message of hope and survival. Fight-the-fight.
Blog what you see, think, feel and hear…
Communicating is out. Unless you are face-to-face with a pad of paper and a pen, you can not speak to the outside world. Sleep is the elixir. Long, uninterrupted lengths of dormancy that does not allow the REM state to be active. The golden liquid, that costs a week of lunches, has the ability to produce such a coma. Nothing else matters but the next dose of Tussionex.
For nearly three weeks I’ve had to be a listener, someone “up there” wanted me to be quiet, to sit on my opinion and to take notes. Protesting was too much effort. I sipped tea and curled up in a corner. But the world did not stop spinning while I was silent. No, it went on with or without my voice. My writer’s laryngitis recovered quicker once I made peace with listening. Another reminder of what I need to do and what matters most. I’ve learned that writing words are never silent; their impact has sounds that vibrate octaves above the normal speaking voice.
Write what you hear, think and feel….
]]>Luck. I was recently told this by one such individual whose friendship I’ve made through cyberspace. One can not disagree, however it would also appear to be their publisher’s influence and long arm as well.
Anyone currently on the threshold of a new release, a first timer, be assured of the thrill, the rush, the smell of just printed text, because it is intoxicating – so delicious; easily the best feeling ever.
The New York Times Book Review ran a piece on Larry McMurtry who was a new author in 1961. Everyone starts at the beginning. His first book, “Horseman, Pass By”, went to Hollywood under the title, “Hud”; remember Paul Newman? His next two books ended up in Hollywood too, but he did not make the coveted New York Times Bestseller list until 1985, twenty-four years after his debut. At that time he was twenty-four weeks running for “Lonesome Dove” and also garnered a Pulitzer Prize.
Mr. McMurtry was obviously not discouraged through a quarter of a century by the lack of recognition as a bestselling author. New novelists take a note, which means me too.
If writing is your passion, then keep writing. Lady Luck is floating around and she may sit next to you. Hollywood beckons like a beacon on a foggy night and the New York Times is just a newspaper.
Blog what you read, see, think and feel.
Linda Merlino, author, Belly of the Whale
]]>As I shake the sand from my suitcase and out of my shoes I am reluctant to return to the pace and routine I set aside. Vacation is a place where time stops, there is no calendar and no alarm clock. The beach beckons and you go, nothing else is required of your time. Nothing.
Days before I journeyed to the shore I was given a tour of a facility in New York City: Hope Lodge. There I met a team of persons dedicated to serving the needs of people undergoing therapy for cancer. Reminiscent of a five star hotel, Hope Lodge provides patients and their caregivers accommodations during the long treatments related to their disease. Individuals who live at a distance and require a commute over an hour are eligible to be one of the over sixty guests at the Lodge.
Walking along the shore with sea water lapping my ankles I thought long and hard about Hope Lodge. I prayed that I might never have to use the facility for the purpose it was intended and despite the beauty of its interior and the warmth of the staff, I mumbled to myself an entreaty to God that He might spare me that fate.
The people I met on my tour were extremely enthusiastic and excited about the subject of my book and how we could (I could) become a part of the fight against breast cancer. Without knowing a reason to write about a character with breast cancer other than the old stand-by, I had to; I discovered on that tour and during my subsequent meditations by the ocean, a more valid reason.
Perhaps another entity was at work, guiding my hand and my imagination, and perhaps that entity had a knowing that I would be introduced to Hope Lodge and when that day came, which it did, I would recognize the reason.
There is a place where we all must travel, a place along our path that is not illuminated, where darkness rules. The descent into darkness is not unlike being swallowed by the biblical whale. Hope and survival is the message of my story and hope and survival are the premise on which Hope Lodge was built.
Blog what you see, hear, feel and pray.
Linda Merlino, author, Belly of the Whale
]]>The Fourth of July is coming up, the first official summer holiday. Memorial Day kicks off the spirit of summer but the Fourth is the main event. Both holidays mark our country’s heroes; one honors those who fought to keep us free and the other honors independence.
The American Flag is the symbol of our great country, we unfurl it proudly most often during the summer months. Streets and town halls are decorated with the Stars and Stripes along with flag poles and schools. Many folk here in New England hang the flag outside their homes as way to show pride for the United States.
Up the street from my home is a small church, it sits on the intersection of two routes, one to New York the other to the Connecticut coast. The main street of my town is quite picturesque, a perfect Main Street that invites people of all ages to stroll, jog or power walk its sidewalk. Up and back it is a generous two miles, first one side and then the other taking in stately old homes, community center, storefronts, and the town’s favorite fountain.
For the past several weeks, walkers, joggers and the like slow to a stop in front of the small church on the corner. Planted across the expanse of the church’s lawn are close to 5000 American Flags, a field of flags. This small church appears to be one of several that have erected the flags. The image is startling and powerful.
Each time I pass the display of flags I offer a prayer to all the fallen soldiers that each flag represents. I am proud to be an American and I am most grateful to all the men and women that serve in our armed forces and with each prayer said, I wish God’s speed home to those still serving and a heroes welcome in heaven for those who gave their lives so that I can walk Main Street on a beautiful summer day.
Blog what you see, hear and feel…
Linda Merlino, author, Belly of the Whale
Go to Linda’s Virtual Book Tour on Author Day Wednesday July 25th for a chance to win a free book.
]]>I imagine a radio talk show host introducing me: Linda Merlino thanks for coming today and then the two of us would discuss Belly of the Whale. Where did the idea for your book come from? How difficult was it to be mainstreamed published? What do you want your readers to remember when they are done reading Belly of the Whale?
My answers would be honest and sprinkled with humor. Since I am fond of talking, there will be no concern about my being shy. If you get me on a passionate subject, like writing, it may take some prompting to keep me quiet.
In the meantime, while I am waiting for my big radio break, I will blog you an excerpt from a fictitous interview with Jack Emerald, husband of Hudson Catalina. WRSB in Gloucester is doing the interview. The full post can be seen on my Virtual Book Tour next Monday and Tuesday, the 16th and 17th of June.
WRSB: We here at WRSB are pleased that you stayed in Gloucester and would like you to share with our listeners some of what you speak of regarding the last several years and your family. You were a caregiver to a wife with breast cancer, is that correct?
Jack Emerald: Yes, our youngest child was four years old when Hudson was diagnosed with breast cancer. My wife’s mother died of breast cancer when she was fourteen and for all the years that followed Hudson carried the fear of also dying of this disease.
WRSB: What kind of an impact did this double tragedy have on your family?
Jack Emerald: I for one never thought my wife would die young or from breast cancer. When she was diagnosed I made a plan, the same way I make a plan or outline for my marine research. I was sure we, and I emphasize the we, could beat breast cancer. Hudson’s mother died at a time when the treatment of the disease was in its infancy. Her chances were slim to none of recovery. I did not feel that those odds applied to Hudson.
WRSB: Your wife felt differently about her breast cancer, about her survival, correct?
Jack Emerald: She tried for many months to be hopeful. Hudson endured multiple surgeries, experimental drug therapy and chemotherapy, but one day, the day before our daughter turned five, she lost hope.
WRSB: What does a caregiver do when this happens?
Jack Emerald: Being a caregiver is a role you assume without thinking of yourself. Cancer was not about me and I tried everyday not to personalize its presence. I loved my wife and I always thought of myself as a good husband, not perfect, but for the most part a good guy. After she was diagnosed I became a better husband, I loved her more than I thought I ever could. I wanted her to have quality of life, no matter what happened. I thought about the times I wasted on small stuff, on insignificant complaints and I made an effort, no, a vow, that I would not do that again. When Hudson gave up, I didn’t know it. She was a pro at hiding her emotions from everyone. I just kept on doing what I was doing, pushing her to survive. Telling her, Hudson Catalina I love you.
Blog what you think, see hear, feel and imagine.
Linda Merlino
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